ASS HAT!
Now that I have your attention,
Hey everyone!
So another couple of wild days in Tokyo, this time starting with a cool breakfast seafood place in Shinjuko. Got to try Natto and my mouth has yet to forgive me. This soya bean fermentation is sticky and sicky. It smells of mice fur covered in oil and left in the rain. Thankfully they mixed it with tuna... and yam rice... so the concoction resembled the inside of a cow`s tummy. The salty shrimp soup more than made up for that mess and was delicious. Nabil had charbroiled chicken rice dish that was tres bon.

Next our amazing guide Rio brought us to the Metropolitan Government office tower with a free ride to the top to see Tokyo in a 360 degree panoramic view... of totally cloud cover! No worries because we were excited to try the fan chosen Sailor Moon Ultimate Fan Challenge in the Hall of Anacronisms. We will have a special video of that once we get real internet access.. lets just say, it was a mystery and it:s not what you:ll expect. Seeing that Im also not a 13 year old girl, it was a little out of my knowledge base. tee hee.
Now, this is pretty special. Japan has a little thing called the Cat Cafe. Picture 40 cats roaming around a starbucks. Yup, you get to roll around on the floor with them, tease them with cat toys and watch as they leap and jump around you. The words F-in Adorable came to mind. They had a menu with a little bio of each cat too.
Now we hit up the Lock-UP restaurant in Shibuya. This themed restaurant got us handcuffed to a rather attractive, no... ridiculously attractive prison guard and dragged to our seats. which were in a jail cell. Iron Miaden, Slayer and the heavy metal hairbands are being pumped through the restaurant and bloody psycho inmates wander the halls. My drink had a floating eyeball in it and Nabil:s had a bloody bandage made of cotton candy that melts when mixed and crackles like the breaking of bones. They also lit my food on fire.
Now for the `best* part of the night. After dinner Nabil and I head to the Red Light District to see the seedy underbelly of Japan. We are macho tough international spies, so it should be a walk in the park right?
It was also a five minute walk from our Manga Cafe where we were crashing for the night, so easy peizy.
There are dudes in suits in the middle of streets who acost you with offers of everything from strip shows to sex in anime costumes with a bevy of ladies. I:m not about to get The Clap while Im here so Nabil and I are politly declining. Try declairing The Clap at the border... Guard: `are you taking anything back with you from Japan` Justin; `an intense burning sensation in my johnson` Guard; `was her name Suki Sextronic the dirty robot girl` Justin; `she was so sweet` bahh!
We wander around watching all the action and this nice guy from Zimbabwe asks if we want all you can drink for an hour for 3000 yen. Thats a losing bet on his part with the way Nabil and I can drink and the promise of a live show and hip hop was enough for us to say Yup! Now, here are a list of mistakes.
1. Don:t go to a bar in a basement.
2. Ask how many people are inside
3. Ask how big the bar is. this one was just slightly larger than a bedroom
4. Watch the bartender make your drinks.
5. Leave together!
6. Know where your hotel is relative to the basement one room bar your in.
Now, Nabil leaves and I stay for another couple drinks to maximize my invenstment in said all you can drink hour. Just after he leaves something gets tossed in my tequila and tonic and my lights go out. I was still walking and talking, but my memory is shot.
Here are a few 3 second clips of memory I have.
`the bartender has me by the arm and asks me if I:m ok`
`i get the feeling something is wrong and do a spin move away from who ever is with me`
`im running, from who or what I don:t know`
`im standing in the manga cafe and Nabil is there!`
`I tell him i ran from the Yakuza`
`I tell him all my money is gone`
`I tell him I:m going to use Facebook`
`I pass out`
I:m totally fine now, lighter $150 bucks but heavy in the story i:ll tell my kids department.
We have implimented some new saftey rules all travelers should know.
1. Have a safe word that means lets get the hell out of here with no questions asked.
Our safe word is PANDA!
2. We have both be appointed `Minister of Morality` presiding over each other. We are responsible for the safe keeping and avoidance of bad decisions. We are no longer capable of making good decisions for ourselves.
3. Hide some money other places on your person, like a sock. That way when the Yakuza robs you they have to look harder for all your dough.
4. Never split up no matter how many free drinks are available.
5. Learn a spin move.
More to come!
Much Love,
J Pop and Toby Sherona